Ending Dysfunction: Cruelty of Others : Gen. 16: 1-6; 21: 8-19; Eph. 4: 29-32
One of the more shocking moments in my journey as an organist was when I was asked to play the hymn “The Day Is Surely Drawing Near.” Having grown up in the fundamentalist brand of the Baptist church, I thought I had heard some pretty severe hymns. This one, however, took the cake. Here’s a little verse or so: “The day is surely drawing near, when Jesus, God’s anointed, shall with great majesty appear as judge of all appointed. All mirth and laughter then shall cease, when flames on flames will still increase.” And further, “Then woe to those who scorned the Lord and sought but carnal pleasures…at the judge’s stern command to Satan be delivered.”
Now, does that technically track with the book of Revelation? Yes. Does it really need to be said that way? Probably not. Does the melody to which this hymn is sung feel like one has been delivered to Satan’s chief musician? Yes. I struggled to play it, and the congregation was woefully un-thrilled to sing it. It is a reminder, though, that often we hear and experience cruel things in this world. Sometimes that comes from the very words and actions of a person who professes the Christ who said to love one another even as he has loved us. How do we deal, as followers of Jesus, with the cruelty we see and that we often endure in this world?
We read about unkindness and cruelty in our Genesis lesson. Hagar was the slave of Sarah or Sarai. And Hagar is treated harshly by Abaraham and Sarah. Because God has promised many descendants, but Sarah has not yet had children, she offers Hagar up to Abraham to produce a child and heir. This was common practice in ancient days—slaves would be used to produce children that would then be taken by a female master who could not bear children of her own. This would have happened with or without Hagar’s consent.
Hagar begins to treat Sarah with disrespectfully after she becomes pregnant, so the angry Sarah treats Hagar so harshly it runs her off into the desert. She does come back and have the child, but after Sarah has a child of her own, Hagar and Ishmael are sent away with only a small amount of food and water, presumably to die in the wilderness. Abraham would have been a very wealthy man in terms of that time, and he sent both of them away with nothing, knowing that they would likely not survive for long.
We often think of Abraham and Sarah as heroes of the Hebrew scripture. But they were not without fault. Several times we read of God having to admonish Abraham and Sarah or smooth over the mistakes they make. Hagar did not ask for any of the suffering she endured at the hands of Abraham and Sarah. The cruelty stems from Hagar having an attitude and Ishmael essentially teasing his half-brother. But women were seen as property, and as a slave woman, Hagar was seen as expendable property. Even her name, Hagar, translates to “the immigrant,” given her Egyptian heritage. She is stripped of any real identity.
What makes this hard is that the cruelty, the unkindness comes from a heroic figure. It is hard both when we are on the receiving end of cruelty and unkindness, but it is equally as hard when a person we feel is a mentor or hero becomes the bad actor. The good news in all of this suffering is that God was still present and still had a plan.
Though Hagar thought this was the end for her and Ishmael, God saw her, and God heard her pleas and her distress. In the wilderness, when she thought she would soon die, God created a well of water to keep her and Ishmael from death. Things did not work out the way Hagar wanted and expected. Things did not go the way she hoped or planned, but God still provided for her, cared for her, and loved her and her son enough to bless them abundantly.
Sometimes, we don’t get to avoid the suffering. Sometimes we have to wait in agonizing patience for God to move and work. Sometimes the suffering, the cruelty, and pain can be real, but God is still speaking. God is still working. Just as God saw Hagar in her distress, God sees us in our distress and trials. Life can be very hard when people are cruel to us in words and actions. It is especially hard when that comes from friendly fire.
A pastor friend of mine once said, “Some of the meanest people I’ve ever met have been in church. But they never pushed me to give up on God or on church.” Seeing Abraham and Sarah through a more villainous lens may tarnish those old Sunday School stories that taught us faith and hope and blessings through the stories of Abraham and Sarah. But we must remember our faith and hope are in Jesus who was perfect, not in other Biblical characters who were human, who had faults and failures, but who can still teach us lessons, good or bad. A friend summed up the struggle of human relationships like this, “Don’t lose your hope, just learn a lesson if things get bad.”
Ephesians gives us the lesson, as God’s faithful, in how to live in love with others. Don’t use abusive language. Be good, helpful, and encouraging in what you say to others. If there is anything that is cruel, abusive, unkind, prejudiced, or just plain mean, we need to get rid of it. Unkindness cannot lead to redemption. Abusive words cannot draw others unto grace. Hatefulness in one’s heart cannot save a soul that feels like it’s drowning in this world. The late Maya Angelou is quoted as saying, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." And they should feel like they have encountered Christ in and through us.
When I went to college, I began attending First Christian Danville, Kentucky, and my piano teacher talked me into joining the choir. I sat in the tenor section next to Tim, and I will never forget him. The first year of college was quite a wild transition for me from small town to college campus in a town similar to Georgia College in Milledgeville. Every Wednesday when I went to choir in a church full of strangers, Tim made a point of speaking to me. He asked how life in Danville was going. He asked about my classes, and occasionally he shared some good church gossip. We didn’t become life-long best friends or anything like that, and we barely keep in touch these days beyond Facebook. However, his kindness, graciousness, and understanding was exactly what I needed as an 18-year-old trying to find a community and a place of faith where I could grow.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ has forgiven us. This is our call as God’s faithful and as followers of Christ. Sometimes that is not what we find in this world. And sadly, sometimes that is not what we find in our churches. I am sure that every single one of us could tell some story of a pain we carry from a church experience that went sour. But even when we see humankind fail, falter, and slide into unkindness, God still sees us, an God is still guiding our lives.
Hagar endured great suffering in her life. She experienced cruelty, unkind words, harsh treatment, and untold stress. Yet, God did not let the struggles destroy her. We may be tempted to ask, “Why did God allow this?” But I challenge you instead to ask, “Why did Abraham and Sarah, called by God, do this.” And in our own lives we must ask, “Why do we allow or tolerate it?” Unkindness and cruelty have no power when they are swallowed up in the light and grace of Christ.
And so when we face the unkindness, the cruelty of this world, may we remember Hagar, whom God did not abandon, whom God did not let die in the wilderness, but used the evil done to her to make a blessing happen. As a much more gentle and loving hymn reminds us, “All I have needed Thy hand has provided, great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.” Amen.
Worship Service Video: https://www.facebook.com/fccmacon/videos/1907818616535638