Who Will Stand By You?—Judges 7: 1-21; Acts 15: 36-41
Years ago, when I worked in traffic court, an officer came in very sheepishly with a ticket for speeding he had received. He was apologetic and humbled and kindly asked me if there was any way I could help him. I said I completely understood, and that I would be sure he could avail himself of the same reductions other folks could receive for their tickets. He handed me his speeding ticket. It was 60 mph over the speed limit. He was doing 107 in a 45. I looked at him and said, “Dude, I do speed reductions. Jesus works miracles. You are in trouble.” With something that ridiculous, there was no way I could stand by him, or cutting him a break. After that his little veneer of humility disappeared faster than an office full of people on a Friday afternoon.
In life, we will encounter people and personalities who cannot stand by us, stand with us, or offer us the strength and support in faith that we need. Too often people are fickle, self-interested, and change over the years. God wanted to make sure Gideon had the right people beside him to fight for the restoration and freedom of the Israelite people. Those who were not strong and solid could not be with him because they didn’t have the strength and character to stand beside him in battle. We face the same issues. There are three types of people whom we cannot go forward with in life: those who can’t go the distance, those who are too selfish, and those who constantly love drama.
First, there are those who cannot go the distance. When Gideon assembled the army of the Israelites, he began with 32,000. But God told him to send home those who “were timid or afraid.” They could go home and not into battle. God did not want the people, with a mighty army, to believe they had delivered themselves. They needed to know it was God who had done it. So, those who were too afraid to go the distance…all the way to the end of the fight…were sent home.
Unfortunately, we meet too many people in our lives like this. They come in to our lives. They seem fantastic and amazing. They start off with a bang, but after a short time, they disappear like vapor. The most common thing that comes to mind is dating. You may meet someone, have a whirlwind romance, fall totally in love, and two weeks later become total strangers. Commitment phobia is far more common than you think.
It plagues our love lives, our friendships, and even in our churches. There have been a couple times, even in this church, where folks became super engaged and dedicated, and all of a sudden they dropped off the face of the earth and are not heard from again. Commitment is hard because it requires us to sacrifice to another. Whether that’s our time, energy, love, or whatever else, to commit means to sacrifice in some way. To some, that feels like solid investments, to others that feels like a giant octopus pulling you down under the water to drown.
Gideon did not need 22,000 people who would turn and run the moment the battle got hard. Likewise, we do not need people in our lives who are feckless, weak, and unable to support when the struggles come. Faith is not a solitary endeavor. But also, faith cannot be built with people who constantly turn and run away. God calls the committed, and as God’s people, we must BE committed. But also, we must seek out others who will be committed to us and our walk of faith.
The second group who cannot stand by us are those who are selfish. Gideon also dealt with this issue. There was a test. 10,000 fighters were still too many for God’s deliverance power. So, those who stooped to drink from the water were sent home. Those who cupped the water in their hand and drank it stayed. What is significant about this? Those who bent down practically had to lay on the ground to reach the water. They were no longer looking out for surroundings, keeping watch for their fellow fighter, or paying attention. It was squarely focused on the easiest way for them to get water. With them bend down, face in the water, they left everyone including themselves vulnerable to attack. It was selfish and unwise to behave in this manner.
It is impossible to deal in life with folks who are only focused on themselves. They will set aside duties, responsibilities, and commitments to do what is in their best interest and what benefits them. Their behaviors may also get you in trouble. I remember going to dinner with a friend who has a bit of a temper. Someone pulled out in front of us, and he lost his ever-loving mind. He was trying to climb out of the passenger side to go after them. He tried finding something to throw at their car. All the while he was screaming out the window. And in Georgia, that kind of thing will get you shot. No one was injured. No actual contact was made between the cars. It was merely a sudden stop. And filled with his selfishness and self-righteousness, he couldn’t let it go choosing instead to put us both in danger.
People who are selfish will never choose you. They may choose what you can do for them. They may choose what they can get out of you. They may choose to manipulate you. They may choose everything about you that benefits them. But they will never choose you. And when they no longer get a benefit from you, they will attack you. There cannot be any trust with a selfish human.
Lastly, those who constantly love drama cannot stand by us. Paul and Barnabas decided that they would go back and visit their previous churches to check in and see how they were growing and doing. Barnabas wanted to take John Mark, but John Mark appears to be drama. He deserted them on a past trip, and my general guess is that he hasn’t apologized or atoned for it. Paul tends to be forgiving, but only if there’s repentance. It’s not written in here by Luke, but there’s a strong inference that Barnabas got sucked into the drama John Mark was creating. It caused him to argue severely with Paul to the point that their partnership broke up.
It also appears that the church took sides with Paul. Barnabas and John Mark leave for Cyprus. Paul and Silas, however, are entrusted to the Lord’s care. Nothing says John Mark and Barnabas received the same. Clearly if Paul and Barnabas fought to the point of splitting over John Mark, there was drama afoot. There will be people in life who live in a constant state of drama. Everything is a fight, an issue, a struggle. There’s never a moment of peace, and most of the time these folks either created the insanity or imagined it.
A friend of mine is fond of saying, when people drag drama into her world, “Not my clowns, not my circus, not my problem.” Too often our faith is harmed when other people’s drama overwhelms us and keeps us from focusing in on our own walk of faith. A friend shared a quote the other day. “Some people don’t want to be fixed because being broken gets them attention.” These folks cannot stand by you because you can’t trust them. They lack commitment, and they are selfish. Even Paul recognized that John Mark and Barnabas needed to be prayed for…from a safe distance. Find people who will stand with you and stay with you.
Whether it is a lack of commitment, selfishness, or love of drama, there will be people in this life who cannot stand with you because their presence harms your walk of faith with God. Gideon needed fighters who would stay the course, watch out for their fellow fighter, and Paul needed someone who wasn’t going to be more drama than the fledgling churches he pastored. Who in your life helps you up, prays for you, strengthens you, and gives you a sense of grace in their presence? Those are the ones who will help you grow in your walk with Christ. Find them, and walk with them in this world.
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