Proverbs 23:22-25; John 2: 1-11
Mother’s Day is the one time per year I can carte blanche tell stories about my mother. The rest of the time I skirt the edges of trouble in telling family stories. I think, sometimes, as teenagers we get too worked up and feel like parents, and in particular mothers, embarrass us. When I was in high school at the tender age of 16, I most certainly took myself too seriously. We were shopping for school clothes, and Mom and I were at Aeropostale or American Eagle.
I was somewhat in between sizes, so I was waffling between a large and extra-large. An associate helped us try on the sizes and eventually I was able to make a decision. On the way out of the store, my mother mistook the worker at the front for the worker who had helped us and said, in what my memory says is a very loud voice, “We decided to go with the extra-large!” Teenage me was mortified, destroyed, ruined, thrown into unbelievable angst never to recover from the emotional damage and social injury. We have laughed about this story for years. And as an adult, I’m pretty unfazed, leaning much more into the humor, and I can roll my eyes and say, “Oh, Mother…”
I imagine it was the same for Jesus. He had a complicated relationship with parenting. Mary was most certainly the mother of Jesus, but imagine having God as your father! We only get glimpses of the family dynamic. One incident is where Jesus disappears as a younger boy to teach in the Temple, and Mary and Joseph have to go back looking for him. The other time is here at the wedding in Cana. When Mary informs Jesus that the wine has run low, which would have been a major social shortcoming in that day, Jesus says, “Dear woman, that’s not our problem.” I imagine Jesus smiling and saying, “Oh, Mother.”
Two things we learn: first, Mary understands that Jesus has the power to work miracles, and it seems like a demonstrated power; second, she knew he would do it anyway because she prepared the servants to act even though Jesus had said no to her. But it seems that Jesus was very inclined to listen to his mother and do what she said, even if it wasn’t exactly in his plans.
The fact that Jesus acts to turn water into wine speaks to how much he was willing to listen to his mother. It shows the power of a mothering nature to shape an individual. I know some have had a hard time with the biological mother in your life. And I know some have had struggles with motherhood which never came. But a mothering nature goes beyond simple biology—it’s a reflection of God’s love. I know very often we talk about God as father. But in many ways that nurturing, encouraging, grace-filled love of God feels much more like the correct love of a mother.
Today we celebrate the many ways in which God’s love is shown and demonstrated through a mothering love and a mothering nature. This is seen in the power of prayer, shared meals, forgiveness and kindness, remaining a family even when we may not always agree, and encouraging when such help is needed. That is just what Jesus does—breaks bread, prays and blesses, challenges, and lifts up when people are broken. That love of Jesus and the love of a mothering presence in our lives is nourishing and nurturing to us in life and in our lives of faith.
But we must also listen to the wisdom of the mothering figures in our lives. As our Proverbs lesson tells about parents and families, we hear, “Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment.” In many ways those three can be rolled into one. Listen to the wisdom of the strong, mothering women in your life. My mother, grandmothers, and mother-figures shared a lot of wisdom that I cherish: don’t cook candy when it’s raining, a little caffeine can actually help a hyper-active child and speak to everyone from friend to the cashier at the store you just met among other things.
One of the most powerful things my mother imparted to me was every morning before dropping me off for school, she would say, “Remember the most important thing.” I would answer back, “I love you, and do good.” Once we discussed whether it should be “do your best” instead. But the truth is instilling the idea of “do good,” created a much stronger sense of values and faith because it speaks to practice.
Jesus might not have been ready to start his miracles, ministry, and witness throughout the world, but his mother said that it was time. In one of the most humanizing parts for Jesus in the Gospel, we see him tell his mother no followed by doing exactly what she tells him to do. Jesus might have gotten the miracles from God, but he seems to have learned a healthy dose of wisdom from his mother, Mary. The true test of wisdom is not knowing everything, but it is a willingness to listen and then to do good in response.
In later years, the mother figures in our lives may come to a point where they need help. Time and age are not always our friend. We should count it joy and a privilege to return care to those who have helped, mothered, and inspired us in such a strong way. Proverbs says, “Don’t despise your mother when she is old.” When people age, it can be hard. Movements slow down. Cognition may not be 100%. Our mother figures may need help more than we are used to, and we have the added silent pain of watching our heroes and mentors slow down and become more vulnerable. It absolutely is hard.
But that is when we put to practice the wisdom that they have taught us, and the wisdom and guidance we get from God. Even as Jesus neared death on the cross, he knew he had to provide for his mother. So, he looked at her and the disciple and called them mother and son. She lost her son that day, but she became a mothering figure to a disciple who took her in and cared for her for the remainder of her life.
In our Gospel lesson we often focus on the big picture of Jesus turning the water into wine. We hear lessons like Jesus saving the best for last or turning the polluted water into the perfect wine. But I pray we don’t miss an important side lesson in this Gospel story—the effect Jesus’s mother had on his ministry. Jesus said, “I’m not ready.” His mother believed differently. She laid the groundwork and preparations because she knew her son. And she knew her son was ready. Jesus may be the Son of God, the perfect example of hope and redemption, but he also needed the wisdom of a mother figure during his time on earth.
There are times where we are going to be eternally flustered by our mother figures. They may tell stories about us. They may drum up old pictures that we wish would never see the light of day again. And they may even spit on a tissue and rub dirt off our face in public. But there’s also a great depth of wisdom in the women and mothers in our lives.
For those who had a mother who was more troubling and toxic than a parent, know that there will be women in your lives who will love you, help you, and pray for you. Biology is less important than the faithful and Godly mother figures God sends your way to teach you about love, nurture, and prayer. To those who never had children of their own: birth does not define motherhood. There are plenty of women I know who may not have had their own kids, but who have been the absolute best mother figures in my life, and in the lives of others. Biology does not define a mother. Love, faith, and the bond of family do.
Years ago in a clothing store, I thought I would never recover from being mortified by my mother announcing my size increase to a random stranger. Nowadays, we laugh about it, and I simply say, “Oh, Mother.” There will be times in your lives where you begin rolling your eyes at your mother or the mother figure in your life. Remember from today that Jesus did that too, but he still knew to listen, and so should we.
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