Love: God With Us—Psalm 80: 1-7, 7-19; Matt. 1: 18-25
When was the time you felt most loved? Was it when your parents wrapped you up in a warm hug? Was it when you and your spouse said, “I do,” 30, 40, or 50 years ago? Was it when you became responsible for a child who looked to you for everything they needed to know in life? Was it when your fur baby curled up next to you, content and happy just to be in your presence? There are many times and points in life where we can say we truly felt loved.
But, by contrast, there are many points where we can say we felt unloved, cast aside, or even hurt by others. This may come in cruel words, divorce, family breakdown, the bitterness of aging, a death. The whole of the human condition is seeking love in a place and people who are all themselves broken and trying to learn how to love and overcome their own struggles. A friend of mine used to say, “Momma loved me the best she could. She never knew love growing up—it was horrible. And she could be so bad sometimes, but I knew she loved me in whatever way she was able.”
Love can be very hard to understand and practice in our lives. In the novel, The Giver, author Lois Lowry writes about a society that has eliminated medically and socially all feelings, thoughts, and choice. Everything is pre-programmed and perfectly balanced, from food, to jobs, to who will be “mating partners” and so on. They specifically eliminate love because it is so messy and difficult at times. But in our Gospel lesson for today, we read about how important Joseph’s love for Mary truly was.
In the time Joseph and Mary were set to be married, Mary would have been 14-17 years old, and Joseph would have been 20s to 30s because he would have learned a trade first. The marriage would have been arranged by the families. And per the custom of the day, Mary would have become Joseph’s property as women had little to no rights on their own. Becoming pregnant outside of marriage carried severe consequences. In cases of willing behavior, both parties could be put to death. In cases of forcible assault, both were stoned, but only the man was killed. Joseph could have caused sever shame and consequences to Mary.
Joseph, though, was a good and kind man. Despite this being an arranged marriage, he clearly loved Mary as he did not want to have her disgraced or harmed. He was simply going to end their engagement. She could have quietly had the baby and sent it off for adoption. Joseph cared for and loved Mary enough to spare her suffering and punishment.
Love is God sending Jesus into the world to teach what it means to love the Creator and to love one another, not in our broken and messy way, but in God’s way, perfect, and complete. Joseph didn’t break it off with Mary, or subject her to cruelty and disgrace. His decision was on his own merit, for God had yet to visit him in a dream. Love seeks to do what is best for another person, the one we love, even if it requires sacrifice on our part. That is why at Easter we sing in “Christ the Lord Is Risen Today, “Love’s redeeming work is done.” Love’s work was a sacrifice and a new birth or new start.
Many of us find love to be a complicated thing in our lives. We have some in our circle of folks we know who we are close to and love dearly. We have some who are a bit more problematic, but we can do so in small doses. And some perplex us, vex us, and stress us. This becomes hard when we are called to love them just the same, even as Jesus has loved us when we perplexed, vexed, and stressed him.
The Psalm for today laments a time when the people felt unloved and cast aside. It pleads for God to look upon them again and save them. It talks of the scorn and sorrow they feel in this time. Indeed, there are times we have all felt this way. Sometimes it’s based in trauma. Sometimes it’s a struggle to accept healthy boundaries. How many stories have we heard of teenagers having meltdowns when they’re told they can’t go to a party, stay out late, or take the car, and their response to parents is, “You just hate me! That’s why you do this!”
But the Psalmist also acknowledges that being in a place of disagreement does not mean someone is unloved. It says, “Strengthen the man you love, the son of your choice. Then we will never abandon you again.” It was not that they were unloved, cast out, or rejected. It was that they had to learn how to do better. Love is sacrificial, active, redemptive, but love also sets healthy boundaries and says “no” when appropriate.
The reason love is so messy is because it binds us to that other person. We worry about them, care for them, think about them, regardless if it’s romantic, familial, or friendship. It’s that level of care which causes stress when things are bad in their lives. I cannot tell you how many grandparents worry about their grandkids, or children each and every day. Let me give you a personal example. Years ago, I bought a house in Macon. It’s been more than 10 years. The church bought me a Christmas tree, and each member gave me ornaments.
Now, I do not put up that 10-foot tree anymore. My tired self in a small apartment can only do a 6-foot tree. But every year I still take out every single ornament given to me by the church members and put them on the tree. Many of them have died and earned their reward. Each time I look at the ornaments, I think of the good times and the love that was shared. Some of them have gone on to live in new places or left the church for other places of worship. And some of those were uncomfortable departures. But I can remember a time of fun and love, when we all shared a good time when I look at the ornament. Some are still here, right in the pews today. And as I look at those ornaments, I am grateful for you and thank God for the love we share in faith.
When the angel appeared to Joseph, God already knew he was a good man. Joseph did not need a heart of stone turned. He simply needed insight and direction. The whole purpose of the birth of this child, the angel told Joseph, was to be Immanuel, God with us. That’s what love is—God with us. On our own, we love in a way that is imperfect, broken, marred by our own traumas, struggles, and social norms. But God’s love for us is perfect, whole, and complete. It is redeeming, reconciling, and never-ending.
That is the message of Christ’s birth and life—how to love God and love one another in the way God loves us. Good Friday and Easter speak to the redemptive work of love. But Christmas speaks to the life-changing miracle of God’s love for us, and our understanding of how to love one another.
So this Christmas when the stress creeps in, the worry starts to float around, and you get fully over-peopled by the get-togethers, remember that the miracle of this season is God’s love for us. Because of that love, God sent Jesus into this world, first to teach us who to follow God and love each other, and second to show what sacrifice and redeeming love look like. This is a season in all the hustle and struggle to remember that gift, Immanuel, God with us.
Worship Service Video https://www.facebook.com/fccmacon/videos/902119608911123/