Bitterness: Genesis 45: 1-11; Luke 6: 27-36
A young woman fell in love with a handsome young man, and they got married to live a happily ever after life. They had money and anything you could want. But just a few years later, the man cheated. His loving wife forgave him and they moved on. But it kept happening. He cheated again, and again, and again. And each time she forgave him and welcomed him back. Years later, as an elderly woman, she was asked how she could forgive him. She said, “At some point you have to choose commitment even if your partner does not, and that means letting go of their short comings and keeping bitterness out of your life. Also, I put a large dose of laxatives in his food every time he cheated, so he would poop himself in public.” Now, Biblically, delight in revenge and forgiveness do not go hand in hand. But we are taught to forgive, love, and stay away from feelings of bitterness where we have been wronged.
Some of Jesus’s teachings on love and forgiveness are the hardest instructions to follow. They go against our instincts, our pride, and our sense of self-preservation. But God’s ways are not our ways, for God’s ways are holy. And they often go against the human ways we would handle things. From our scriptures, we can learn three lessons: first, bitterness is overcome by forgiveness; second, love your enemies…and yes you have to…; lastly, life must go on.
First, bitterness can be overcome by forgiveness. If anyone has a right to be bitter, angry, and vengeful, it is Joseph. After the way his brother’s treated him, he would have been fully justified in giving them a little hefty payback. With all of the power of Egypt behind him, he could have executed them, let them starve, imprisoned them, or any manner of horrible things. But God was with Joseph, and Joseph had faith in God. Joseph’s overflowing emotion, however, was not anger, instead, it was forgiveness. He told them that all of their bad ways had been used for God’s good work.
Even after they had conspired to kill then sell him into slavery, Joseph offers a place for them to live where they will be taken care of. He offers love and care to those who were once his abusers and enemies. Now, they are not totally free of the consequences. They have lived with guilt this whole time, which is evident from the earlier interactions with Joseph. And at some point, they have to explain to their father how they sold of Joseph, and he wasn’t attacked by an animal. But neither they nor Joseph are held hostage by the anger and bitterness that could have been present in this situation.
If you hold on to the wrongs other people have done to you, you will never escape them. If you dwell on the bad actors and enemies of this life, you will be too blinded by bitterness to see God’s blessings. If you hold on to all of this, you will poison yourself with someone else’s evil intentions. Bitterness will kill you, but forgiveness will set you free from someone else.
Second in our lessons, we must love our enemies, and yes, we have to do it. This is one of those places where Jesus is very clear. Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, and give without expecting a return. What distinguishes us as followers of Jesus is that we love in this strange, unconditional way. Jesus was the embodiment of God’s love. Throughout all of the Bible, God often had to punish and correct bad behavior. But in Jesus, a way of reconciling, redeeming love was created for all of humanity.
Joseph gives us an insight into what that looks like. He loved his enemies, namely his brothers. Joseph did good to those who had once hated them. And he gave grain to them, even though there was nothing they really had to offer to the administrator of one of the largest, wealthiest empires on the planet. Just as God loves the closest follower and the most antagonistic rejecter, we too are called to love just as God loves us.
I came across a poem by Susan Mark Landis entitled “Enemies Aren’t Loveable by Definition,” and I wanted to share a bit with you. Lord, the hardest thing you asked / Was that we love our enemies. / We know how we’d like to love them: / We’d love to our enemies to be far away. / We’d love them not to compromise our security. / We’d love them not to scare us or change the way we live. / We’d love them to be loveable. / You know, God, / We’d love it to be popular to love enemies. / We’d love our neighbors to respect us for this good deed. / We’d love the people on the news to provide examples of how to love. / But then, if loving enemies was easy, / Jesus wouldn’t have told us about the tax collectors and gentiles, / Who only love their friends. / If loving enemies was easy, we know / We wouldn’t need God’s strong arms to bear us up in difficult times. / We wouldn’t need…Christ to save us from human sin. / We wouldn’t need the Spirit flowing among us, wiping our tears. / We wouldn’t need the Bible telling us what the world does not.”
Joseph made love and forgiveness look easy. It is not. That kind of love—for those who hurt us, enemies, the cruel of this world—that takes the strength of God and the example of Christ. Don’t try to do it on your own, because the outcome may not be so loving. Follow the examples of Jesus and Joseph knowing that God can work even where humans have chosen what is wrong and evil. For God works in all things, even our dumbest decision.
Lastly, in all situations, life must go on for us. Part of what made Joseph so successful is that he kept on going. Whether it was slavery, prison, or in the palace, Joseph never stopped and never gave in to the negativity and bitterness. Joseph had clearly even made plans to bring his family down where he was and provide care for them. He could have planned revenge for years, but instead he planned ways to be good to them.
They absolutely did not deserve it. Joseph’s brothers were deceitful, cruel, and rather crazy. But Joseph showed love and compassion, just as God is loving and compassionate to us. Jesus gave us an example as well. Even from the cross, he offered forgiveness for those who caused his suffering. We cannot let the trauma of life make us stuck. Whether it’s family drama, intimate relationships, the struggle of growing older, or even generally the whole world at this moment, we cannot become stuck. Joseph had a plan to save his family. God had a plan to save the world. As Christians the work of redemption and grace is part of our spiritual DNA, and in all times and situations we are to work for the most loving, forgiving, grace-filled, and redemptive solution. Why? Because we follow Jesus, who did exactly that.
Bitterness and revenge can be an easy trap to fall into. And the temptation is that both can feel very satisfying. If your spouse wrongs you, I’m sure it would be very satisfactory to give them a big dose of laxatives and send them on to work. But cruelty does not solve cruelty. Punishments don’t save. And faith cannot be an angry and legalistic endeavor. As people of God, we have the hope of grace, and we ought to live that hope and grace each and every day.
Remember that Jesus teaches us to forgive the deserving and undeserving. Jesus teaches us to love unconditionally, both those who love us and our enemies. And Jesus teaches us to move on in life continuing down the pathway where God is leading us. As we wrap up our series on Joseph, we see a man who had a choice at every point of life: follow God or let the struggles overcome him. At every point and time in his life when the hardest struggles came, he chose God. May that lesson speak to us, and encourage us as we live our days on earth.
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